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为何他与三爷经常意见不合   

2017-04-19 23:56:04|  分类: Me和三爷 |  标签: |举报 |字号 订阅

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  为何他与三爷经常意见不合

 

他聚起一个微笑,有点嘲讽,然后展平,

接着才会取出一本诗集,慢慢读。

——这样做没有什么特别,

就像某个人陷在自己的天线塔下,声称:

“我举头四望,没有一个入眼的人。”

有时,他倾向于认同高傲的人,

但是为了三爷,他努力保持低调,

暗暗希望自己能够跟上三爷的步调,

虽说三爷不怎么走动。

“在这世界上,你没有多少选择,

要么孤独,要么庸俗。”这话是谁说的?

三爷甚至知道原文,但保持了沉默;

拼出那名字就能成就一次装逼式炫耀。

 

可为什么周围那么多人这么亟亟,

要出场、索取、占有、变得更多,

犹如一个甜得发腻的女诗人,在脸书上

毫无节制地晒她与见到的各式名流的自拍。

他从牙缝中挤出一句:

一个人总是独来独往,又有他妈的什么问题?

他努力想象她在床上的画面,

可脑子被她紧裹的旗袍和丝滑的连裤袜充满,

怎么也无法看到她扭动或者横陈在床上的骚态。

这令他更加难以区别本质与表象。

 

他一直在学习如何满足于自己

不是一个名流或应该成为的人;

三爷宽容地微微一笑,缓缓地说:

在很多眼中,你已过上了很多人期待的生活;

别的不说,起码你活了这么久,还一次也没死过。

他对此无话可说,一个阴沉的念头

占据了他的脑子,迟迟不散:

为什么三爷和我常常意见不合,计较着谁的声音更大,

而我们本质上是同样的人,

甚至或许是同一个人?

他这个念头深藏不露,因为他对于所谓的交流

早已失去了信心。

 

谁不知道

一个黑点,一旦暴露于光,

就再也不会无痕无迹地消失?

这是一种宿命,

犹如一个黑点生来就是为了界定

一个黑点是什么,

正如三爷是他的命运,

而他是三爷的性格。

      2017419

 

  

   Why He and Sanye Are Often at Odds

 

He makes out a smile, a sarcastic one, and then smoothes it out,

Before he takes out a poetry book and slowly reads.

----There is nothing special in this,

Like someone stuck in his antenna tower base says:

“I raise my head and turn around, and I see no one in my sight.”

Sometimes, he tends to empathize with the aloof ones,

But for the sake of Sanye, he is playing a low profile.

He secretly hopes to keep pace with Sanye

Who does not move much.

“In this world, you do not have much choice

Other than being lonely or vulgar.” Who said this?

Sanye knows the original, but remains silent;

It would be a cocky show to spell out the name.

 

Why those people are so eager,

To present, to take, to have, and to become more,

Like a syrupy poetess posting in her Facebook

So many selfies with whatever personages she's met.

He grumbles "What the fuck is the problem if one is alone?"

And he cannot picture how she wiggles or spreads on the bed

After seeing her photos in cheongsam-swathes and pantyhose.

He finds it even more difficult to distinguish

Between presentation and essence.

 

He has been learning to get satisfied with being not

A personage or what he should be,

And Sanye smiles indulgingly and drawls:

In many eyes, you already have what you are expected to have.

First of all, you have lived so long without a death.

He has no comments on this, and instead he entertains

A sulky thought that harbors in his mind:

Why Sanye and I are often at odds over who has a louder voice,

While essentially we are the same kind of soul,

Or the same person, perhaps?

He keeps this to himself, for he has long lost faith

In the so-called communication.

 

Who doesn't know

A dark spot, once brought into light,

Will never go unnoticed?

This is predetermined

Like a dark spot that is born to define

What a dark spot is,

As Sanye is his fate

While he is Sanye's character.

      Oct. 11, 2016

      April 18, 2017

[按] 又是英文写了几个月后才又捡起来,修改,然后写中文。这样的时候,最大的问题是写中文的劲儿不足。 

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